For the second portion of the challenge, I've decided to only write one post. Doing a post everyday was too time consuming, and I'm a busy girl!
Day 15-Moksha flow 8:30
I love the tree in this photo. So many roots, grounded into the earth. "You're on your own side, and you are your own strength". We are so much stronger than we think. Warrior really is a great pose to see how strong you are. You want to straighten your knee, and you want to drop your arms, because it burns! But when you refocus on your breath, you see that you can hang in there. Sometimes it's difficult to ground yourself into postures in a flow class because you are moving at a faster pace. I try to bring my awareness to that and it helps me to focus more on grounding during the flow classes.
In terms of my life, I have never felt more grounded than I have in the past 4 months. My entire lifestyle has changed, for the better. Even when I get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I can now remind myself to take those "breather moments" and ground myself. It has made a huge difference in how I deal with situations that come up that may have caused me anxiety and stress in the past. Meditation has also grounded me. During this challenge I have meditated for at least 5-10 mins before each practice, and this has been invaluable to me. I will definitely continue to use meditation as a way to connect with myself.
Day 16-It has been awhile since I practiced at home, and today was my first home practice since beginning this challenge. I did a practice that focuses on your core, so lots of ab work! It was difficult to get motivated for this practice but I made it through.
This quote reminds me of what I've learned on my 40 days program, and being reactive to outside factors that cannot be changed. You can't control them, so why react to them? The only thing you have control over in this world, is yourself. How you see things, how you react to things, how you treat people, what you say, what you do, it's all up to you and you only. When you see this connection, you will live with less stress and anxiety.
Day 17-Today it was a friends birthday, and so I could not make it to practice in the evening. This is the first day I have missed practicing altogether. Although I felt guilty about missing a practice to go out for sushi, it was really important for me to spend the time with our friends. We don't see them often, and a birthday is an important day to me.
This quote is eye opening for me. Particularly the second sentence, because it really has helped me endure some difficult situations in my life in the past year especially. On June 17, 2011, I lost a family member that was very dear to me. She was always a constant source of support throughout my life no matter where I was or what I was doing, I could always go to her with anything. She was like my second mom, and even some things I felt I didn't want to talk to my closest friends about, I would be able to talk them through with her. She helped me realize a lot about my life and those in it, what was important, and helped me make some serious decisions. She never judged, never told me what to do, she just listened, gave objective advice and was always supportive. I am so lucky to have been able to have her in my life for 27 years. Yoga has helped me as I struggle with the fact that I can't change what has happened. Cancer continues to affect my family, and unfortunately there is no cure at this time. A few days after my aunt passed away, there was an outdoor yoga event in my area. I told myself I shouldn't go, because a close family member had just left us, and I should be sad, crying, and at home. All I had to do was think about my aunt, the kind of person she was, and I knew I had to get out of the house. Mike and I went to do some yoga in the park. The sun was shining, there was a nice breeze, and a very calm energy in the air. There was a moment while I was in flip dog, looking up at the trees and the sky, the sun shining on my open heart, that I felt so calm and at peace. I felt very close to my aunt in this moment, and I think of it often when I get sad. Even as I write this, and hold back tears, I think of that moment. Life will never be the same without her, but we go on, keep living life hopefully to our fullest potential, because that's what she would have wanted for us all. We endure.
Day 18-I didn't make it to practice today because my dad is coming into town tomorrow. I had cooking, cleaning, and groceries to do, and Mike wasn't going to be home until late this evening. I felt guilty for making it through 17 days without missing a practice. I miss two days and feel as though the last 16 days don't mean a thing. Then I thought about what I was missing it for...because it just didn't fit into my schedule that day. I have a lot of things going on in my life right now, and there will be times during this 30 days that I will also have to challenge myself to know when I need to step back and get my priorities straight. I do not want to leave the dog alone in his crate tonight, Mike isn't home to watch him or help me with the to-do list, so I'm not going. That's that!
Now onto the quote, and pride. I think I've mentioned this before, but the Moksha studio I go to has mirrors. Although I like to use the mirrors to do some self-adjusting, I think they bring out the ego too often. A lot of people will just look at themselves the whole class in postures, rather than focusing on the posture itself, or their breath. Your ego wants to push you to try doing what the person next to you is doing, to show you can do it too, or better. It is very hard to cut your ego out of your practice and I have struggled with that at times. What I began to do in some postures is to try to close my eyes, or choose one spot to focus on and let my vision go a little blurry, which is called drishti. By doing this, I cannot focus on what I look like or what those around me look like, and I can concentrate on my breath and body.
Day 19-My dad came into town today (woohoo!), and because it was Good Friday the studio was offering less class times, and those times just didn't work with our schedule today. This was the third day in a row that I missed practicing, and I was pretty bummed about that. BUT spending time with my family and friends is very important to me, and I wasn't missing practices to just hang around and do nothing. I came to terms with it pretty easily once I thought about it that way. Having my dad with us was great. He lives in Ottawa, and since we got the dog we haven't been able to see him (it's been about 6-8 months), so it was so important to us to get to spend some good quality time together. I'm lucky in the fact that my dad and Mike get along really well, so conversation isn't forced and we can all just enjoy each others company. We spent some time with Mike's parents Friday evening, Saturday we went for a hike in gorgeous sunny weather and then I made my first Easter dinner (turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, turnip and carrot, the whole spread!). We spent the weekend relaxing, talking, and just being happy. It was worth missing a few practices over!
There wasn't a quote posted online today.
Day 20 | Unravel and come undone:
Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I decided to do a home practice instead so I wasn't rushing around. I did about 10 minutes of meditation before as well, and while I practiced I listened to some Krishna Das, who is always inspiring to me. Check out his site
here.
I feel like this quote reflects yesterday, in the fact that I took the day off, and went for a hike in the woods (minus the silent part). I have noticed that walking with the dog has been a stress reliever for me as well. Because generally I am by myself (well the only talking human), and I have time to declutter my mind and just enjoy being outdoors. It benefits me as much as it does the pup. I also get about 45 mins-an hour of walking with the dog in a day, which contributes to my daily activity so that can't hurt!
Day 21-No quote on the site today.
Moksha 12pm with Paris
I finally made it back into the studio today, and boy did it feel good!
Day 22-Moksha 5:30
Tonight the class was packed and it was VERY hot and sweaty. You get so much more energy when the classes are so full and sweaty I find. Great energy to feed off of.
Great practice with Judy this evening, she loves to torture us with abs! I stayed in savasana a little longer than usual for a late practice and it served me so well. I felt so much more relaxed at bed time:)
I love Gandhi quotes, because he was so wise. When you read any of his quotes, you always get an "aha" moment because it's always something that is so obvious, but you just never think of it that way. I particularly like the part of this quote that says "The weak can never forgive". It does take strength to forgive someone, I have learned this in the past few months. Small trivial fights, arguments, he said she said, useless drama...these things have all fallen by the wayside for me. I just don't have time for them. Some situations have come up in the past year that have caused me to become quite angry, and about 4 months ago I decided it wasn't worth being angry or upset. I forgave some people for things they said or did that hurt me, even if they don't know because I chose to take a step back from. Either way, I know that I have forgiven them, and that's all I need for me. Again, I can't control what they think or do. But like Gandhi says " Everyone is human".
Day 24-Yang/Yin 8:30-9:45
This was the first time I've done the yang/yin class, and I actually really enjoyed it. The yang part is the regular Moksha practice, and then the yin part which occurs for the last 30 minutes or so is a series of restorative postures that you hold for a few minutes each. She did a lot of hip opening postures in the yin portion, so my hips got a great stretch. I always thought I wouldn't like the yin but I may try a full yin class sometime soon!
Day 25-Moksha 8:30
Today a senior teacher led us through our practice, so there were a few more challenging postures we got to try, which I love. I can't believe there are only 5 days left!
Day 26-Moksha flow 5:30pm
Day 27-Moksha 8:30am
I went to class early today because I was going to be busy the rest of the day, and unfortunately I missed the open house and 30 day challenge party.
Day 28-Moksha 8:30am
No heat in the studio today due technical difficulties. I watched as some people left when they found this out. I am so used to doing home practices without the intense heat that it didn't phase me at all. I actually used this as an opportunity to focus even more on my breath so that I could build heat from within. Ujjayi breathing (in and out through the nose and narrowing the throat so it sounds like the ocean) really builds heat from within your body. I was still sweating at the end of the class, it just wasn't dripping off of me.
Day 29-Moksha 5:30pm
Class was packed today! We had a great teacher to guide us through our practice. She had us play a plank game, where you stay in plank while each person in the room says there name and why they come to yoga. There were probably more than 40 people in the class yesterday so it took awhile!
This quote means a lot to me, especially since beginning my revolution in February and now this 30 day challenge. My entire life has changed, and I feel that I have grown in so many ways. It didn't happen overnight though, I had to work really hard and I struggled a lot along the way. I'm in a great place now. I have my priorities straight, there is less stress in my life, less tension in friendships and relationships because I am able to communicate, and on top of all of that I have never felt better. My health has improved, in that my diet is healthier and I get much more exercise. Since I changed these habits about 4 months ago, I have lost 10 pounds. I believe that has been mostly my diet changes, and that has been a struggle, but the way my body feels now is completely worth it.
Day 30-Moksha 8:30pm
It's finally here! I did it! It feels great to have completed another challenge:). It was a very different experience compared to my 40 day revolution, because others were doing it with me, and I had the studio to motivate me to practice everyday. This evenings class was full of energy, breath, and focus. At the beginning of the class, our teacher had just focus on a person/place/thing that brings us joy and makes us smile. Everytime we needed to focus ourselves, or were in a difficult moment in our posture, she asked us to think about that thing that brings us joy, and turn up the corners of our mouths to help us through. That really worked for me, and I was able to focus more which helped me keep my balance as well as helping me use my breath to go deeper into a pose or give me the strength to stay in a pose longer than my mind wanted to.
I feel like I will have so much free time now. I was gone for 2 hours after work everyday (which is half the night basically) and I fear I won't know what to do with myself! I'm hoping to spend more time outdoors with the pup now that it's getting warmer out, and do some more cooking and baking:)
I wonder what my next challenge in life will be...
Namaste!
