May Cause Miracles : Week 6

 Week 6 is the final week of this miraculous journey! I can't believe the book is already finished. I'm going to miss the daily affirmations, and plan on searching for my own affirmations everyday, even if it comes from within.
The focus of this final week is on working miracles. We do this by practicing the act of choosing love over fear when our ego tries to take a hold of us. All of the little shifts that have happened to me over the course of this journey have taught me many ways that I can choose love over fear. For me, it all goes back to that first week, where I first learned how to approach the negativity of my ego:
1. Witness the fear
2. Be willing to change
3. Choose a new perspective
4. Gratitude is the attitude
5. Learning how to forgive
6. Expect miracles
These 6 simple exercises have really opened me up to choosing love. But it's not just about learning how to let go of that negativity to become happy, it's about personal growth on an everyday basis that leads to a shift in the world. It's about how my decision to choose love affects those around me, and so on and so forth. How powerful is that?! Think of it as a "pay it forward" of love. This act of choosing love becomes easier the more people choose it, and also allows them to understand how their choices have an effect on the bigger picture. The choice I make to see fear as a spiritual assignment, that it has been brought to my attention so that I can learn from it, is a miracle in itself. Learning not to judge my past, but to see it as a learning curve to get me to where I am today is a miracle. Gabrielle Bernstein says that "We have a choice to bring more love to the world, or pollute it with more fear", and to ask yourself "What am I choosing to bring to the world?". 

An addition to my meditation nook-A giant pink lotus from a close friend's baby shower :)



Day 36 Affirmation

This evening we had a loving-kindness meditation in which you envision a light coming from within you and extending out to the world around you. I found this to be a stress reliever in a way because even when your life is difficult, and you know the lives of others in the world have been a struggle, shining your light  to everyone and everything just feels good. It makes you feel those warm and fuzzies inside, even though you aren't focusing on one specific thing. 

Today I also journaled about how I had caught my ego in the act of trying to make me jealous over a situation. In the past, I would have dug deeper to get more information, I would have gossipped perhaps, or my mind would have been flooded with false perceptions. But this time, I was able to let it go, and use it as an assignment to show myself how my ego would have taken over in the past, and how long that negativity would have lasted. I quickly forgave myself. This has become part of my daily practice.

Day 37 Affirmation

Today I received a text message from one of my best friends about a great upcoming career opportunity. Although the odds may be stacked against me on this one, the fact that she thought of me, and then offered to help me streamline my resume felt like a little miracle. I feel that the love I am sending out to those in my life is starting to come back to me in little ways here and there. The Universe is doing it's thing and I have trust that everything will work itself out for me in a short period of time if I continue to have faith and send out love. Whether I am successful in having my resume picked out of thousands or not, the opportunity is there so I'm going to go for it. I feel like this is one of those signs that Gabrielle Bernstein was always talking about in her book Spirit Junkie. It's a nudge for me to change it up a little, maybe go into a career that is more up my alley, and not simply a deposit in my bank account every week. 

This evening's exercise was to make a list of all the fears that are currently troubling me. My list was 15 fears deep! While some were small annoyances, others were more meaningful and have maybe been troubling me for some time. At the end of the list, we were to recite this prayer:

Inner Guide, I turn my fears over to you. I know that I have a greater purpose than to dwell in fear. Please take this from me now.

Letting my inner guide take over hasn't been an easy task for me. Letting go hasn't been an easy task for me...ever really. But even as I read through this list again as I'm writing this reflection, I can see that I have already resolved or let go of some of these troubling fears. It is so refreshing to get to see the work I've been doing right in front of me. Reading through this list of 15 fears, and realizing that it is now a list of 6 or 7 is so encouraging. My work is paying off, I am learning to let go, I am learning to let my inner guide take over. I am learning to forgive.

Day 38 Affirmation

This evening, Mike and I had a nice romantic dinner with candles and wine. I hadn't had a drop of alcohol since our honeymoon almost 7 months prior. I had been pretty strict with alcohol since February of 2012 when I started my clean eating and personal revolution journeys. I hadn't really had the urge to drink it, nor the want to party, and I even associated  drinking with a lifestyle that wasn't me anymore. Little did I know I had been far too hard on myself. It is one thing to choose not to drink for lifestyle purposes, or if I had an addiction once, but it is completely another not to drink because I was trying to prove something to myself or to others. Although I have enjoyed cutting alcohol out of my life, a switch just clicked in my head that said "I would like to have a nice glass of wine and relax", so that's what I did. No guilt, no regrets. It doesn't really seem like a big deal, but when you have put so much pressure on yourself to eat clean, and refrain from alcohol, when you do you feel as though you have failed yourself.I have decided that I'm going to do what feels right in the moment, indulge in treats and a drink when I feel like it, and just know that dropping the pressure I have placed on myself will allow me to have more fun. 

The exercise for this evening was to do something kind for someone else. My first act of kindness was having a lovely dinner with my husband. Although I cook for him most nights, it was a little more special, and a way to show him how much I appreciate him. The second act of kindness I did this evening was to give a friend a call (yes on the phone, not text or facebook or email) to catch up and give her the link to a website she may enjoy. Needless to say she was surprised by my call and automatically assumed I was calling for a certain reason ;), but we had a laugh about that and then had a nice chat. 
The second part of the evening exercise was to recite a really nice prayer followed by a service meditation. I didn't really connect with the prayer, the meditation was more my style. 

Day 39 Affirmation

This evening's exercise was to write a letter of gratitude to someone. The idea was not to actual give that person the letter unless you wanted to, so I just wrote mine in my journal for now. Writing out all the things I wanted to thank this person for just reminds me how important it is to share your feelings with those you love. You never know how long or short your life will be, and it is so important to tell those close to you that you love and cherish them. Writing out this letter allowed me to express these feelings of gratitude, and also realize that I should allow them to read it, or rewrite it and give it to them. It made me think of my aunt, whose 2 year anniversary of passing was approaching. I wish I had written her a letter like this before she passed to tell her how much she had helped me over the years, and how I really did think of her as my second mom. In my heart I know that she knew these things, but I'm sure it would have been nice to hear them or read them in a letter. I've decided to write a letter of gratitude at least once a month to someone who has impacted my life. 


Day 40 Affirmation

Today's evening exercise may have been one that will stick with me the most afterwards. The exercise was to write a letter of forgiveness to someone that you have resentment towards. I was waiting for this exercise, it's as though all of the work I had done on this journey led me to this place. A place where I am truly ready to forgive not only others, but myself. You see I am a Scorpio to the core. I can hold a grudge like nobody's business, I can be emotional, my words can be very hurtful in the heat of the moment. I've got that stinger that comes out from time to time. But I'm also sensitive, and don't enjoy confrontation or conflict with anyone. As I said before, letting go has been one of the hardest lessons for me to learn. Writing this letter was a means to an end for someone I had been carrying around with me for far too long. Just the simple act of writing it lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I didn't give the letter to the people I had written it to, but I felt that it was the start of true forgiveness mostly of myself in these situations. 

Day 41 Affirmation

I really thought about my affirmation today. Am I reaching my full potential in helpfulness? Am I trying to help others or only myself? The exercise this evening was to bring more fun into your life. When you bring fun  into your life, it transfers into everything you do and thus makes you of higher service to the world. In our journals we were to answer the following questions:

1. The Self Lover: In what ways can I have more fun on my own and in everyday life?

2. The Miracle of the Body: How can I enjoy the process of physical activity? What innovative and challenging workouts can I try? How can I enjoy the process of eating healthful foods?

3. Holy Relationships: How can I bring more fun into my relationships? What thoughts, conversations, and activities can I incorporate into all my relationships?

4. The Miracle of Abundance: How can I bring more fun into my career or place of work? How can I have fun while I'm creating abundance?

5. The Miracle Worker of the World: How can I bring more fun to the world?

Answering these questions was a lot of fun in itself, and I got some great ideas. Some of the recurring ideas were not to take myself so seriously, not to take what others say so personally, let loose once in awhile, spend more quality time with my friends, try some cool new activities (like stand up paddle boarding and more crossfit and rock climbing), and to be silly. 

Day 42 Celebration Dinner!

I cannot believe that 42 days has passed since I committed to this amazing experience. The final day of this journey was to celebrate all of my hard work! Mike and I made a great dinner together to cap off a great Sunday together. We spent some time with friends over the weekend, we had a lot of fun together, and this dinner was the perfect way to cap off a great couple of days.